After leaving MR, Antolini's apartment, Holden walked into the cold. Holden slept on a subway bench and started thinking about Mr.Antolini. The more thought about it, the more depressed Holden got, then he saw the magazine left on the bench next to him, so he started reading it but it made him almost worse. He went out a subway and thought he should at least eat something, So he went to the restaurant, he ordered doughnuts and a coffee. When he finished he walked toward the Fifth Avenue, he thought a million kids were downtown with their patents, all of sudden he wished Phoebe was around. He kept walking and walking up Fifth Avenue, then he saw the curb, Holden got scared that he wouldn't reach the end, he started sweating and talking to his brother Allie. Whenever he reached the other side, he'd thank him.
Holden crossed a street
After he calmed down, he sat down on the bench for an hour and he had a crazy idea. He decided to go the West, he wanted to go away from this society and school, he was indulging in his crazy dream. Then he decided to say goodbye to Phoebe, so Holden bought a pad and a pencil, gave her a note and gave her back her money, While Holden arrived Phoebe's school and started walking upstairs, he saw someone had written "FC U" on the wall, that drove him near crazy, He thought how Phoebe and other little kids would see it, he erased it and went to the principle office. Holden saw a hundred years old lady and he requested her gave the message to Phoebe. Before he left school, he saw another "FC U" on the wall and this time he couldn't rub it because this one was scratched on the wall. So he just walked to the museum and waited for her. Before Phoebe came, the two little kids asked where the mummies were, Holden answered and bought them to see the mummies. Near mummies, he saw the tombstone, he stood in front of it and he felt so peaceful, however, when he looked down he saw another "FC U" just under the tombstone, that drove him crazy. Then he went out and stood by a door, waiting for old Phoebe. When Phoebe showed up, he was so surprised because she said she would go with Holden. Holden was so angry and blamed Phoebe, finally, Phoebe started crying. When she calmed down, they went to the walk near the zoo but Phoebe wouldn't talk to him or hardly look at him. In the zoo, Phoebe was watching the sea lion show, Holden tried to put his hand on her shoulder but Phoebe slid out. After they went out the zoo, they walked toward to the carousel, though Phoebe didn't talk with him, she was walking next to him. When Phoebe went over the carousel it began to rain like bastard, all people were stood under the roof of carousel, but Holden didn't, he still sat on the bench and he got pretty soaking wet, he felt so happy right now, he was near bawling but he didn't know why it was just that Phoebe looked so damn nice, she was going around and around in her blue coat and all. Holden wished everyone would've been there...
Holden saw Phoebe on the carousel
Holden said he got sick after he went home, he was in the mental hospital and a lot of people came to visit him and gave him some suggestions but he wasn't interested. His brother D.B. also came to visited him, he kept asking a lot of question to Holden as well as he told Holden he'd started writing a new novel, he wanted knew how did Holden felt about it but Holden didn;t know what should he say. The only thing Holden knew was " Don't tell anyone anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
Relate:
When Holden meets some undefeatable troubles, he decides to escape from the world, he doesn't want to face it and solves it. I am very different, I hate troubles but I don't afraid them, I would break them by my hand, whatever how difficult it is, at least I tried, If you never did, you never know what would happen. Holden has a very cynical view of the world and he uses it to protect him, hides him from his ridiculous view. By contrast, I am always optimistic, I admit my shortcoming and I would improve it. Holden very cares about his little sister, he is attracted by Phoebe's innocence, Holden also like Phoebe never talked phony to him. In my opinion, Holden is not mature enough, he can't see any dust in his eye. I thought sometimes we have to make a "phony" in our society.
Reflect:
Holden scared to across the street because he feels he would disappear and nobody would see him again. It's not true because the fiction is first person view, "nobody would see me" that hints Holden doesn't want to anybody to see him, he refuses to connect with outside world, he isolates himself, he brings the alienation and isolation for himself. Holden makes a crazy decision after he reaches the other side of the street. His mental breakdown, he can't deal with the world around him and he also realizes that his cynical view of the world doesn't work anymore, it can't protect him anymore.Holden doesn't have any method or any way to survive in this "phony" world. According to logical thinking, he decides to run away from this society.
Holden's mental breakdown
When Holden watches Phoebe go around and around, he finds an excessive happiness as he participates in a scene of childhood joy and innocence. With Phoebe, Holden might find the way to contact with the world, he finds the new way to survive in this world. Innocence is the most important factor which always saves Holden. At the end of the novel, Holden doesn't want to tell us the detail about what happened after he went home. It hints the same problem maybe still around him, alienation and depression. On the other hand, he said a lot of people came to visit him, it hints he begun to value, rather than dismiss, he starts growing up.Interesting question:
1.How did Holden feel when he across the street?
Answer: Holden may felt cold, dark and lonely. The world becomes darker and darker, the temperature starts decreasing and he can't see the road clearly, he felt he was sort of disappearing.
2. Why Holden goes to a mental hospital instead of a normal hospital?
Answer: Holden is not really sick, his thinking gets sicker than his body. He needs to heal his view of the world and his cynical attitude. For Holden, the body feeling is not important than psychologies feeling.
Holden Caulfield


















