Chapter 25-26 entries:

Summary:
  After leaving MR, Antolini's apartment, Holden walked into the cold. Holden slept on a subway bench and started thinking about Mr.Antolini. The more thought about it, the more depressed Holden got, then he saw the magazine left on the bench next to him, so he started reading it but it made him almost worse. He went out a subway and thought he should at least eat something, So he went to the restaurant, he ordered doughnuts and a coffee. When he finished he walked toward the Fifth Avenue, he thought a million kids were downtown with their patents, all of sudden he wished Phoebe was around. He kept walking and walking up Fifth Avenue, then he saw the curb, Holden got scared that he wouldn't reach the end, he started sweating and talking to his brother Allie. Whenever he reached the other side, he'd thank him.

Holden crossed a street

 After he calmed down, he sat down on the bench for an hour and he had a crazy idea. He decided to go the West, he wanted to go away from this society and school, he was indulging in his crazy dream. Then he decided to say goodbye to Phoebe, so Holden bought a pad and a pencil, gave her a note and gave her back her money, While Holden arrived Phoebe's school and started walking upstairs, he saw someone had written "FC U" on the wall, that drove him near crazy, He thought how Phoebe and other little kids would see it, he erased it and went to the principle office. Holden saw a hundred years old lady and he requested her gave the message to  Phoebe. Before he left school, he saw another "FC U" on the wall and this time he couldn't rub it because this one was scratched on the wall. So he just walked to the museum and waited for her. Before Phoebe came, the two little kids asked where the mummies were, Holden answered and bought them to see the mummies. Near mummies, he saw the tombstone, he stood in front of it and he felt so peaceful, however, when he looked down he saw another "FC U" just under the tombstone, that drove him crazy. Then he went out and stood by a door, waiting for old Phoebe. When Phoebe showed up, he was so surprised because she said she would go with Holden. Holden was so angry and blamed Phoebe, finally, Phoebe started crying. When she calmed down, they went to the walk near the zoo but Phoebe wouldn't talk to him or hardly look at him. In the zoo, Phoebe was watching the sea lion show, Holden tried to put his hand on her shoulder but Phoebe slid out. After they went out the zoo, they walked toward to the carousel, though Phoebe didn't talk with him, she was walking next to him. When Phoebe went over the carousel it began to rain like bastard, all people were stood under the roof of carousel, but Holden didn't, he still sat on the bench and he got pretty soaking wet, he felt so happy right now, he was near bawling but he didn't know why it was just that Phoebe looked so damn nice, she was going around and around in her blue coat and all. Holden wished everyone would've been there...

Holden saw Phoebe on the carousel

Holden said he got sick after he went home, he was in the mental hospital and a lot of people came to visit him and gave him some suggestions but he wasn't interested. His brother D.B. also came to visited him, he kept asking a lot of question to Holden as well as he told Holden he'd started writing a new novel, he wanted knew how did Holden felt about it but Holden didn;t know what should he say. The only thing Holden knew was " Don't tell anyone anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

Relate:
When Holden meets some undefeatable troubles, he decides to escape from the world, he doesn't want to face it and solves it. I am very different, I hate troubles but I don't afraid them, I would break them by my hand, whatever how difficult it is, at least I tried, If you never did, you never know what would happen. Holden has a very cynical view of the world and he uses it to protect him, hides him from his ridiculous view. By contrast, I am always optimistic, I admit my shortcoming and I would improve it. Holden very cares about his little sister, he is attracted by Phoebe's innocence, Holden also like Phoebe never talked phony to him. In my opinion, Holden is not mature enough, he can't see any dust in his eye. I thought sometimes we have to make a "phony" in our society.

Reflect:
Holden scared to across the street because he feels he would disappear and nobody would see him again. It's not true because the fiction is first person view, "nobody would see me" that hints Holden doesn't want to anybody to see him, he refuses to connect with outside world, he isolates himself, he brings the alienation and isolation for himself. Holden makes a crazy decision after he reaches the other side of the street. His mental breakdown, he can't deal with the world around him and he also realizes that his cynical view of the world doesn't work anymore, it can't protect him anymore.Holden doesn't have any method or any way to survive in this "phony" world. According to logical thinking, he decides to run away from this society.

Holden's mental breakdown

 When Holden watches Phoebe go around and around, he finds an excessive happiness as he participates in a scene of childhood joy and innocence. With Phoebe, Holden might find the way to contact with the world, he finds the new way to survive in this world. Innocence is the most important factor which always saves Holden.  At the end of the novel, Holden doesn't want to tell us the detail about what happened after he went home. It hints the same problem maybe still around him, alienation and depression. On the other hand, he said a lot of people came to visit him, it hints he begun to value, rather than dismiss, he starts growing up.

Interesting question:
1.How did Holden feel when he across the street?
Answer: Holden may felt cold, dark and lonely. The world becomes darker and darker, the temperature starts decreasing and he can't see the road clearly, he felt he was sort of disappearing.

2. Why Holden goes to a mental hospital instead of a normal hospital?
Answer: Holden is not really sick, his thinking gets sicker than his body. He needs to heal his view of the world and his cynical attitude. For Holden, the body feeling is not important than psychologies feeling.

Holden Caulfield

Symbol in Catcher in the rye

Hexagonal relation 

 
 The catcher is the center of a hexagon, Holden wants to be a catcher in the rye, in a fiction he said he wanted to catch children before they fall out of innocence into an adult world which is filled with phony and sex. For Holden, the mummies mean a no disappeared face, he always worries about he would disappear or be a "faceless" guy. The relation between them are disappearance, Holden doesn't want to children disappear in their "innocence" world, he also doesn't want to "disappear" in the world.
  Baseball "mitt" hints Holden's brother Allie, he is gone in a disease. "The Catcher" doesn't catch his brother successfully, his brother disappears in a cliff. Love innocence is an important factor in a fiction, it's the main reason "the catcher"  catches children, Allie is innocence so "the catcher" wants to catch him. Holden's cynical tone is a major melody of a book. Holden's cynical view of the world shows an adult world is all bad, a childhood world is all good, this view induces a very high position of an innocence.
  Holden very hates adults' phony so he rejects adults, it's a reason why "the catcher" wants to catch children and protects them in an "innocence" world.
  The death is a major theme in a book, from the mummies and his brother's death we can connect to Holden's mind. Holden always thinks he would die and what happen after he died, the more he thinks about it,  he feels more depressed and lonely. Holden still felt sorry about his brother's death, that makes his personality changed. At the beginning of the book, when Holden's roommate mocks his brother, Holden feels angry then fights with his roommate. Actually, he blames Holden's article because it is a memory about Allie. The interesting thing is, there are another reason results in the fighting, his roommate dates with Holden's old friend, that makes Holden feels jealous. Throughout a whole book, except his brother Allie, Holden's sister also makes Holden's personality changed. Everytime Holden sees Phoebe, his mood always becomes better, especially at the end of a fiction, when Phoebe on the carousel, Holden feels so happy because he sees an image of innocence.
  According to Holden's cynical view and hatred of adults, when he realized he couldn't find a way to survive in a world, his logical action is escaping from the world, that the reason why he wants to go away from the New York and goes to the West. It's the same action he'd done in his prep school, after Holden fought with his roommate and he found nobody could tell with him, he decides to go away from the school.
  At the end of a book, Holden sees three times "FC U" on the wall, every time he wants to erase it, especially he sees those dirty words in Phoebe's school, he near crazy because he thinks how Phoebe and other kids would see it. It highlights Holden really wants to protect children from phonies and he very hates adults.

The catcher in the rye chapter 20-21 entries

Summary:
   Holden got drunk and sat at the bar till around one o'clock. He went to a phone booth and gave Sally a buzz. After Sally told him went home and got on the bed, she hung it out. Holden tried to make a date with a famous singer, then he failed again. Finally, he got down off the radiator and went out to the hat-check room, he started crying. Holden decided to go the Central Park to see ducks.  He became quite upset when he dropped and broke the record which he had bought for Phoebe. At the duck pond, he started to worry about catching pneumonia and imagined his funeral. Then he remembered a reason why he didn't attend his brother Allie's funeral. The more Holden thought about it, the more upset he got, so he went out the park and decided to go home.

Holden walked in the rain

  Holden took the elevator up to his parent's apartment, due to the luckily a regular elevator was changed, Holden got easy to come home. In ordered to find Phoebe, Holden spent an hour to "walk" in the house, finally, he saw the Phoebe in D.B.'s room. While Phoebe was sleeping, Holden looked her notebooks on the desk. However, Holden finally waked her, Phoebe was over happy to see him, she talked a lot to Holden and she was glad to save the broken record. After her enthusiastic flurry of conversation, she realized that Holden was home early and must have been kicked out of school. She started repeating "father will kill you" that drove Holden crazy. Holden tried to explain but she used a pillow covered her head, she didn;t want to hear. Eventually, Holden went out and got some cigarettes.

Phoebe was sleeping in D.B.'s room 

Relate:
  According to these two chapters, Holden's desperation, loneliness, and depression are showed clearly. What he did, he just let them go, he gives up to control his emotions. By contrast, If I am in the same situation, I will have an opposite attitude. Whatever how deep desperation you have, you still alive so you still have a chance to fight with it. "Never give up" is one of my life creeds. I am not afraid to fail because everyone would make mistakes. A weakness determination is a most terrible thing and I really scared it. If a person doesn't even have brave to do something, he can't success anymore.


Reflect:
  After Luce left, Holden got depressed and disappointed, it hints that Holden thought Luce is phony, Holden wants to connect with others but he failed. Then he was drunk and he tried to interact with a singer but he failed again, Holden loses more faith in himself. In this case, Holden shows his cynicism obviously, he feels so sad and he starts crying. We can see a deep loneliness around Holden, not only his action demonstrates it but the cold rainy background also hints Holden's mental world, depression, and loneliness. Then he starts thinking he would get sick and he would die, He can't control himself, that brings Holden to a very danger situation. Up to now, Holden is fell into a deep depression and loneliness. He feels he is in an unexplainable situation, it's kind of like ducks. When Holden looked Phoebe's sleeping face, he said adults “look lousy” when sleeping, but kids “look all right.” It implies Holden thinks adults are "phony", kids are "innocence".

Interesting question:
1. How did Phoebe feel when she realized Holden is kicked out from the school?
Answer: When Holden woke her up, Phoebe had realized that but she didn't reveal it suddenly, she just doesn't want to make Holden feel sad. However, I think Phoebe feels depressed about Holden is kicked out from the school.

2. How did Holden feel when he saw Phoebe's bruise?
Answer: I think Holden doesn't feel so angry because of his cynical view of the world, though Phoebe told a truth to him, he maybe hates that guy but not get angry.